As you get divorced, all you’re thinking about is what will be best for your children. You want them to be happy, and you know that stability really helps children feel content. A divorce is already going to upset their stable view of the world, but moving out of the family home could make that even worse.
That’s why you’re considering birdnesting. You know that dividing custody in the traditional manner means that the children will have to be moving back and forth between each home, perhaps every week or even within the week. This is stressful and the very opposite of stability.
With birdnesting, you agree that you will move in and out of the family home. So will your ex. The children will not have to move but will be allowed to live there all the time. You still get to have a custody schedule where you share time with the kids, but you both spend that time in the same home.
What are the downsides?
If you are considering this option, there are some potential downsides. For one thing, you need another place to live when you don’t have custody, so it can be expensive to have to pay for another home or apartment.
For another thing, you and your ex are going to have to cooperate, work together on taking care of the home, divide up how to make payments for utilities and much more. In short, the two of you really need to be on good terms in order to use this tactic.
But, even if it’s not right for you, this does help to show why you need to consider all of your options.